Stalemate
by WhoKnows1125
Summary: Beckett and Castle's relationship seems to have reached a stalemate.  How many different ways could it be resolved?  This is a series of one-shots, some fluffy, some full of angst, some silly, some more adult than others.
1. Anniversaries

**Stalemate**

**AN:** Frustrated by the lack of progress in Beckett and Castle's relationship, I thought of all the ways the stalemate between them could end - for the good or the bad. This will be a collection of one-shots that explores the different things that could happen to finally (please, just resolve it already) upset the status quot.

**Disclaimer:** fan fiction = these characters are not mine...

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><p><em><strong>#1 Anniversaries <strong>_

The fasten seat belt sign finally turned off with a ding, but he, unlike the other passengers, didn't move to unclasp the restraint. He was leaning his head against the side of the plane, eyes closed, hoping he appeared to be asleep, hoping not to be interrupted. He was barely holding himself together and the last thing he needed was to break down in this sparsely populated first class cabin on a 16 hour flight overseas.

He glanced at his watch, noting they'd been in the air almost an hour. Fifteen hours to go... He thought about how he'd expected it to be a single defining moment that would determine the next stage of their partnership. Hopefully it would be a night of passion after they couldn't deny their feelings any longer. More likely, it would be a relationship-ending fight after revealing secrets and betrayals. Either of those would have seemed fitting but that was not how it happened.

Over the four years they'd worked together, the steps forward had been so slow and careful, but they were there, tangible proof that he wasn't a fool for his patience, his devotion. They gave him enough hope to hold onto when his strength began to wane. The little glances, smiles and touches encouraged him to continue to fight for each tiny crack in the wall around Kate's heart.

He'd barely noticed the shift at first. Something seemed off, but he tried to convince himself it was temporary - a reaction to this or that event. But eventually, he'd had to accept the truth. After Sophia, things had stopped moving forward. There had been no progress in their relationship.

He'd been able to hang on through the stall, assuring himself that it was a temporary set back, a natural reaction to all that Sophia brought to the surface. He'd managed, just barely, to stay in the fight. To give her the space she seemed to need and to wait for her.

He kept going until the anniversary of her shooting. That was when the steps backwards had started. That was when she started pulling away. The first time she didn't call for a case, he dismissed it. He told himself she knew about his looming deadline. She called with another case a few days later and everything seemed normal enough.

A couple of weeks later, he had walking home from dinner with Alexis when he was surprised to see Beckett, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, and Jenny in a bar across town from The Old Haunt. He told himself that they knew of his plans with Alexis. They knew news spending all the time he could with her before she left for school. That's why they hadn't mentioned their plans. Four weeks later, two team lunches he hadn't known about and three more cases with no calls were making it harder for him to remain optimistic.

But it was their time in the car, alone, riding to and from witness interviews and crime scenes that really convinced him she was pushing him away. They hadn't discussed anything personal in weeks and whenever he tried to bring something up, she skillfully side stepped the topic. The last straw had been when Alexis decided to go out of state for school. He'd been upset for days. When he tried to bring it up with Kate, she had snapped at him, "Alexis is an adult now and has to live her own life. It's selfish of you to want her to stay close to home." He had been stunned by her exasperation when she was usually so supportive of his issues with his daughter. It was then that he realized that their relationship was never going to be what he wanted.

He'd made his decision that evening but didn't tell anyone. He didn't want to pretend to be happy about his upcoming "adventure" So he'd quietly made his plans and waited until Alexis had gotten settled at school. It seemed fitting to him that yesterday, his last day at the precinct had been the anniversary of the book signing where he'd first seen her again after the summer of her shooting. That day on the swings, he'd begun to have a glimmer of hope. He'd decided that day to wait as long as it took. She was worth it. They were worth it. They might still be, but he wasn't strong enough to stick around and find out.

His thoughts drifted to early this morning, when he'd made a stop on the way to the airport. He couldn't help the tear that fell on the note as he read it one last time before slipping it under her door.

_Kate,_

_I'm just not strong enough to do this any more. I'm sorry._

_Good-bye,_

_Rick_

Which is what led to his current plan of action - to run and hide - in a foreign country, where he was unknown and would be left alone. That's all he really wanted at this point. To be left the hell alone to lick his wounds and try to find some new purpose in his life. He checked his watch again and saw that the reminiscence had occupied another 2 hours of the flight. "The time can't go fast enough," he thought as he tried to stop the whirling in his mind and let the emptiness of sleep overtake him.


	2. Mine

**A/N:** Here is another way this purgatory of UST could be resolved.

I appreciate all of the encouragement I got with the last chapter. For those of you who enjoyed it and wanted more, I did decide to continue it and have started another story for it. I plan to post the first chapter of that story tomorrow.

**Disclaimer:** fan fiction = these characters are not mine...

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><p><em><strong>#2 Mine <strong>_

Castle arrived at the crime scene with the usual two cups of coffee. He slipped under the yellow tape and found Beckett leaning over the body with some woman he didn't recognize standing nearby. It was clear they were discussing the body and he didn't want to interrupt so when she stood he handed her the coffee without a word. Castle listened as the new woman continued.

"Our victim, Samantha Hauser has been here about 6 hours but I can't find any wounds on her yet," she explained, clearly annoyed by the lack of evidence.

"What about poison?" Beckett and Castle asked simultaneously. The woman looked from one to the other in surprise at the timing of their questions. Esposito, who was wandering behind her, simply offered, "Ignore them. They do that all the time."

A bewildered expression crossed her face before she continued, "It could be, but I don't see the usual signs for an ingested poison and there are no obvious needle marks. I'll have to get her back to the morgue to determine more." She turned to her assistants and began preparing to take the body back.

The detective and her partner moved away from the body to allow them room to work.

"Nice of you to join us this morning, Castle," Beckett challenged him. "It took you a while to get here. Four A.M. a little too early for you?"

"Nope," he replied with a grin. "There was just a long line at the coffee shop. I couldn't subject everyone to an un-caffeinated Beckett, now could I?" She turned her face away briefly, hiding the smile that threatened to escape. It wouldn't do to feed his ego. He continued, "Do we have a new M.E.?"

"Sort of," she replied, "Perlmutter is on leave for a few months. Something about teaching at a medical school for a semester. That's his temporary replacement, Tracy Sheldon."

Just as he was going to reply, Ryan and Esposito walked up and their attention was turned back to the current case.

Several hours and no real leads later, Beckett and Castle entered the morgue to find Dr. Sheldon concentrating on her computer screen. She was dressed in blue scrubs that looked too large for her. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a severe pony tail and her face was obscured by protective eye-wear. Without looking up, she holds up a finger, silently asking them to give her a minute. She finished typing and without looking up, she began explaining, "Liver temp confirmed time of death was last night between 9 and 11 pm, but I can't find a cause yet. I've checked every inch of her and can't find any injury or needle mark. The only thing I can find is some skin irritation that appears to be due to a birth control patch. I'm still waiting on the tox screen but she has no signs of overdose or poisoning and at this point I can't find a single reason for her to be here."

"Except the being dead part," Castle muttered not quite as quietly as he had intended. Beckett almost managed to suppress a giggle and the M.E. looked at them both with disdain, until a light of recognition came over her features.

"You're Richard Castle, the author, aren't you?" she asked, flashing him a huge smile. Her face lit up when she smiled and Castle noticed that, contrary to his initial reaction, she was an attractive woman.

He started to answer but was cut off sharply by Beckett, "Yes, he is. Yes, he's still working with the 12th doing research for his books." she answered for him but was interrupted by they other woman, "Does that mean that you're..." the detective sighed, "Yes, I'm Kate Beckett, the one he based Nikki Heat on. Can we get back to the case now?" Clearly, the exchange was aggravating her so Castle didn't try to continue it. He just smiled at Sheldon and nodded as she continued to update them on her findings.

Leaving the morgue, they didn't really know much more than they had about what happened when they had entered it. They knew a lot more about what hadn't happened to the victim, though. And Beckett wasn't happy about the lack of progress.

Back in the bullpen, Esposito and Ryan had had more luck with the victim's husband. They brought the other two up to speed, "Apparently, he's been having an affair with his assistant for some time but he swears his wife knew and didn't care. He says she liked being free to lead her own life." He clearly didn't believe the man. "He also has an air-tight alibi. He was a speaker at a company banquet , sitting at the head tables, with his assistant. There are over 100 people who saw both of them up there all night." he admitted.

"She has a sister in town, doesn't she?" She continued after Ryan nodded. "Bring her in. Maybe she can shed some light on the marriage." Beckett told them.

After Ryan and Esposito finished interviewing the sister, Kate was left to stare at the mostly empty murder board, sighing in frustration. The sister had confirmed the husband's claim that his wife was aware of his activities and that he had nothing to gain from killing her. Rhey were back to square one. This information also removed any motive for the husband's assistant, though they were bringing her in anyway. They had a dead body, no good suspect and no cause of death. It was beyond frustrating.

"Let's bring in the husband's assistant. I know she has an alibi but we don't have any other leads. Maybe she knows something she doesn't know she knows." Beckett said, before checking her watch and adding, "tomorrow. It's late, let's call it a day."

Just then the elevator dinged and they turned to see Tracy Sheldon exiting. She'd lost the scrubs and glasses and was wearing soft gray slacks and a pink sweater, both of which fit perfectly, showing off her sexy curves without being too obvious about it. Her hair was down, flowing around her shoulders and just a hint of flowery perfume followed her as she crossed the room. Jaws around the bull pen dropped. She looked nothing like she had at the scene. She was gorgeous.

"Rose," she called, heading towards Karpowski. "Can you leave yet? We have so much to catch up on." As she got closer to Karpowski's desk, the words were quieter and Beckett's team could no longer hear what she was saying as they watcher her greet the other woman with a hug.

Ryan and Esposito had shared an appreciative look with Castle after the M.E. had passed their desks. Kate rolled her eyes at the three of them before smacking Ryan in the arm. "You're married! You shouldn't be ogling her like that." He ducked his head sheepishly but replied, "I'm married, not dead." quickly grabbing his coat and heading to the elevator, followed closely by his partner before she could continue to berate him.

Castle chuckled quietly to himself as he stood by her desk holding Beckett's coat for her, earning him a glare. They followed the other pair to the elevator.

The next morning, there was a note on Kate's desk from the Sheldon informing her there was an update on their victim. It asked that she and Castle come down to the morgue when they could. She shoved the note aside, irrationally irritated with the pretty new doctor. She decided to deal with the M.E. After the interview with the assistant this morning. Turning her attention back to the murder board, she lost herself in the case for the next hour and was surprised when her morning coffee appeared on her desk. She took a long sip and sighed gratefully before looking at the coffee's bearer.

"So," he asked, "what's on the table today, detective?" with that smile that always warmed her as much as the coffee did.

"The husband's assistant should be here at 9 and the M.E. Has some new information for us. We'll go see her after the interview," Beckett informed him.

"Do you want me to go talk to her while you meet with the assistant?" Castle uncharacteristically offered.

"No!" she replied just a bit to quickly, surprising them both. "Your supposed to shadow me. Gates would have my head for letting you off your leash alone." There was a bit more bite in her tone than usual, but he simply shrugged his shoulders and sat down. She seemed to be in a mood today. Caution seemed a reasonable course.

They didn't get much of interest from the assistant except for the fact that she had a boyfriend that didn't know about her relationship with her boss. They sent Ryan and Esposito to pick him up but didn't hold much hope. If he found out about the affair and was going to kill someone, they would have expected it to be his girlfriend or her lover. Not the lover's wife. Still, it was worth checking out.

They didn't expect much to come from their trip to the morgue but they were pleasantly surprised. Dr. Sheldon, looked up immediately when they entered, flashing Castle the same bright smile she'd given him the day before. He returned the smile as Kate frowned.

"Detective, Mr. Castle. Thanks for coming down," she began, only meeting Castle's gaze. "I got the tox screen back and Mrs. Hauser died of a Fentanyl overdose. I didn't see any needle marks because it as delivered topically, with a patch. She used birth control patches and hers must have been swapped."

Kate interrupted, "Wouldn't the two patches have different appearances?"

"Yes, but they are close enough in appearance that switch might go undetected by a less observant user. Here are the report results," she said as she handed them to Beckett. Castle suddenly remembered something from the interview with the assistant's boyfriend. "Doesn't the boy friend work as a pharmacy technician? If it's the same pharmacy that the victim used, he could have switched her prescription!" Kate looked really pleased that they finally had a solid lead and thanked the doctor before heading out of the morgue with her usual, "Coming Castle?"

He was just about to follow her when Dr. Sheldon broke in, "Actually, Mr. Castle, if you have a minute?" she let the question hang while she glance at Kate. Clearly, the detective wasn't needed for this part of the conversation and she snapped, "I'll wait in the hall. Don't take too long Castle. We, well I, have real work to do." She hadn't gone far when she hear Rick's laughter ringing out and rolled her eyes as she tried to force down the jealousy that was rising in her stomach. She could just imagine the other woman flirting with Castle and by the sound of her laughter, he was flirting right back. She didn't have long with that unsettling image before her partner joined her in the hallway with a goofy grin on his face.

"What did she want?" she blurted out, hating herself a little for asking.

"Oh, just fan stuff," he answered with a dismissive shrug.

Kate countered, "You look awfully pleased with yourself. Did you score a date with her yet?" She wanted to smack herself. Why was she letting him see this? She had no claim on him and shouldn't be jealous. She certainly didn't mean to let him know how she felt.

He seemed taken aback a bit by the intensity of her response, "I enjoy having my work appreciated. Who doesn't? And no, I didn't make a date with her." They were silent the rest of the way back.

Once back in the bullpen, Kate disappeared for a while without letting the team know where she was. She seemed even more agitated when she returned.

"Castle, I need to see you in the observation room. Now." she instructed before stalking off without even a glance back to make sure he was following her. Castle looked at the boys with confusion briefly before giving her a quick shrug of his shoulders and following Becket down the hall.

The apprehension was evident on his face as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. The interrogation room on the other side of the glass was empty. He looked at her and said, "Beckett, what..." but was cut off with a quick motion of her hand. She stared at him with anger and something else he couldn't quite identify in her eyes before pointing to a chair and commanding him, "Sit."

He complied and opened his mouth to question her but was met with a terse, "Quiet!" from her as she paced back and forth in the small room. "Don't talk. Let me think," she continued. He watched in stunned silence as she appeared to have a conversation with herself.

She had called Lanie from the bathroom after they returned from the morgue to complain about the new M.E. flirting with Castle. Her friend had been less than sympathetic. She understood Kate's fears but also knew that Kate wasn't going to do anything about the situation until she was pushed. Maybe this Dr. Sheldon was just the push she needed. So Lanie hadn't sugar-coated anything and she'd ended the call telling her to make up her mind and claim what she wanted. "Easier said than done," thought Kate as she paced in the observation room while Rick watched her silently.

She was tired of this crap, tired of being haunted by the past and fearing the future. She wanted to live in the present. She wanted justice for her mother. She did. But she wanted a life for herself as well. That didn't seem so much to ask for. But every step she took that direction seemed to take so much out of her. Every bit of progress felt like a huge mountain and she was tired of scaling them alone.

"Do you know what else I'm tired of?" she continued, not realizing she'd begun speaking aloud.. He mutely shook his head. "I'm tired of watching every woman that walks into this precinct flirt with you." she paused taking in the look of shock on his face. "Don't give me that look," she told him. "Everyone who's ever seen us together seems to know there's something more going on. And they flirt with you anyway! What the hell is that? Huh? Can you tell me that?" she asked but didn't pause to give him time to answer. "Here's the deal, Rick. I'm completely screwed up. I'm hung up on my mother's murder, and closed off because I've been hurt. I may never be able to fix that. I really thought I could get past it all and be better. But I don't know if that's ever going to happen."

His sudden intake of breath caught her attention and she looked at him to see a devastated look on his face. She could almost see the thoughts churning in his head and where he thought she was going with this. She calmed a bit and told him, "Rick, let me finish, OK?" and waited until he nodded his agreement before continuing in a softer tone.

"I told you I have a wall that keeps people out. I said I'd have to solve my mother's murder before I could let anyone inside that wall. But I've come to realize that I don't have to do that. She wouldn't want that for me. She'd want me to be happy, to live, and to love." She met his gaze at this point before adding, "I want that too." She held his eyes with her own for a moment before continuing to pace at a much slower rate. "The thing is, I lied to you." She let her eyes close slowly for a moment before re-opening them and continuing, "I remember everything from that day at the cemetery. I remember the smell of the grass and the blue of the sky and the burning in my chest. I remember hearing the screams and then feeling you over me. I will never forget the look in your eyes or the words you told me." tears were streaming down her face at this point.

"I lied because I thought I needed to be better, stronger to deserve you. I thought I wasn't strong enough to be in a relationship, that I had to handle it all on my own – to prove how strong I was. What I realize now is that sometimes it takes more strength to let someone in than to keep everyone out. Facing everything alone isn't the braver option. Risking your heart by letting others in, that's what takes real courage." She faltered here, as if she had run out of steam and couldn't continue.

She stared at him for a few seconds before uttering, "Mine," in a very low, tenuous voice. She held his gaze for a moment before leaning in and kissing him softly. "You're mine. You know it, and I finally know it. Everyone else needs to know it too." She leaned in for another, longer kiss. She rested her forehead against his and watched a grin spread across his features, matching the one she wore.

After a few moments of silence, Castle asked, "Can I talk now?" She nodded silently and he continued, "Kate, I know you remember. I've known for sometime and I get it. I can't say I like how you chose to handle it but I think I understand where you're coming from. You say you need to be better, stronger, less broken to be in a relationship, but I would argue that the right person can help you be those things. We're all screwed up in one way or another. None of us lives up to the potential we all carry. But the right people can help us find the strength to keep moving closer to that ideal." She turned her gaze from him but he gently grasped her face and turned it back.

"You are extraordinary. You are strong, brave, compassionate and determined. You are amazing as you are now, issues and all. Any man would be beyond lucky to have you in his life. I just hope that man can be me. I love you, Kate. And you're right. I am yours." He leaned in and brushed away the stray tear that had still trickled down her face before placing another soft kiss on her lips.


	3. Hearts Broken, Hearts Mended

A/N: OK, so I'm really not good at updating. Sorry about that. I'm trying to do better but realistically, I can't make any promises.

I started this after 47 seconds and finally finished it up today. I hope you enjoy and would love to hear what you think.

Fan fiction = these character are not mine...

Kate stared blankly at the elevator doors closing, watching them hide Castle from her view. The look on his face had chilled her. The cheerful, playful man that had come to be so important to her was gone. In his place was a hard, angry look alike. He seemed so cold, so distant. His gaze had gone right through her, like she wasn't even there. What the hell had happened?

Walking out of the precinct, all she could think about was him. She poured over the events of the current case, trying to figure out what had happened. When had he changed? Was it something she had done? She tried, but couldn't think of anything that had happened between the two of them. He was different, detached, even angry and she didn't know why. She let out a frustrated huff of air as she reached her car. Sliding into the driver's seat, she winced, remembering how cold he'd sounded as they'd interrogated Leann.

Her rumination was interrupted by a huge yawn. It had a long, hard day. He must be exhausted, too. Maybe that's all that was wrong, she decided, as she started the car and put it in gear. He'd be back to his normal self tomorrow, she assured herself as she headed home for the evening.

The next day, she couldn't hide her disappointment when he arrived at the precinct empty handed. She usually delayed her first taste of caffeine until he arrived with her morning coffee each day. She always looked forward to it, smiling as she took it from him, taking just a moment to surreptitiously enjoy his presence and appreciate the small joys he brought to her world. The fact that he'd shown up today without it said more about the state of their relationship than any of yesterday's snide comments or harsh glares. Something was wrong. With him. With her. With them. She was still gaping when he walked up to where she stood with Esposito and Ryan and asked how the new case on the murder board, directing his question towards no one in particular. The way he avoided her gaze caused a knot in her stomach that she did not want to consider the source of. His distant manner continued throughout the morning, bringing with it a subdued manner that was unsettling to the entire team.

It wasn't until lunch time that she saw any real excitement in him. He looked up at the sound of the elevators arriving on the floor and smiled as a blonde woman exited to the floor. He turned towards her with a smile and called back over his shoulder, "My lunch date is here. Call me if you turn up anything interesting." Kate stood shocked as he walked over to her. When Castle leaned close to woman and kissed her cheek, Kate felt a flare of jealousy and possessiveness. He was hers, damn it. After watching the elevator close on the two, leaning in close to each other in whispered conversation Kate stood still for just a moment before abruptly turning and stalking towards the stairs without a word to the boys.

Ryan and Esposito share a worried look. It had been a long time since they'd seen him with a date. They really though mom and dad were getting their act together. Sure they were moving at the speed of a blind snail, but progress was progress. Something had clearly happened during the last case but they thought the tension would resolve itself sooner or late. Neither had expected this turn of events.

Kate stormed into the morgue, interrupting Lanie. "What's up with you, girl?"

"That man is such an ass! Hes been distant and withdrawn these past few days. And now he has a lunch date" Kate ranted, "with some blonde bimbo! She came to meet him at the precinct just now." She paused, "I thought..." but wasn't able to finish the sentence.

"You thought what honey?" Lanie asked gently.

"I thought he was waiting for me. He told me..." her voice drifted off until she was muttering to herself, "I guess he didn't really mean it."

Lanie interrupted, "I'm not following here, Kate. You want to let me in on what's going on ?"

"I don't have a clue what's going on. I'm so confused."

"Confused by what?"

"Castle," was Kate's terse reply.

Realization dawned in the M.E.'s eyes. "Ah, tell me what happened."

"A few days ago, he disappeared in the middle of the day. When I asked him where he'd been he said he needed to clear his head. Since then he's been cold and distant. All business, if you can believe that. And then today, some hot blonde shows up and it turns out, she's his lunch date. How could he do that to me?"

"Is there something going on here that I don't know about? Because the last thing I heard, he was a single adult, free to spend time with whomever he likes. Why does he owe you an explanation? I know you two have feelings for each other, but if neither of you will act on them, then someone will eventually move on."

Kate stared at Lanie for a moment before taking a deep breath,her voice barely more than a whisper, "When I was shot, he told me that he loved me. But Lanie, if he does love me why would he go out with her?"

Lanie showed a complete lack of surprise at Kate's confession. She knew Rick's feelings for Kate were strong and didn't doubt that he would have wanted her to hear him say it at least once. "I thought you didn't remember the shooting. That's what you told me." Lanie didn't even try to hide the accusation in her voice.

Kate's response was little more than a whisper, "I lied to you. It was all so overwhelming at first and then it was easier to keep up the lie than admit that I hadn't been honest."

Trying to push down the hurt she felt at having been lied to by her best friend, Lanie prodded, "Have you at least talked to him at all about what he said?"

"No," Kate admitted, "He's asked me a couple of times if I remember anything and I told him I don't. I'm not sure he believes me though. There's this look on his face when I tell him I don't remember anything..." she paused here, more than a little annoyed at being called out by her friend.

"I had just been shot! I was still with Josh and Montgomery had just been killed. I needed time!" Kate cringed at the sound of her words. While, at the time, they had all seemed like good reasons, now they just sounded like empty excuses to avoid a hard conversation. The feelings of guilt only got worse as her best friend continued.

"And he'd just seen the woman he love get shot. He watched her heart stop in the ambulance and waited for hours in the hospital just to find out if she would live, not to mention being blamed for the shooting and attacked by that woman's boyfriend." Lanie didn't even pause to acknowledge Kate's gasp of surprise. "What about what he needed? It sure as hell wasn't to have you disappear on him without a word for 3 months!" Kate started at the vehemence in Lanie's voice. Clearly, Castle wasn't the only one she'd hurt in her disappearance the summer she was shot. And Josh had attacked him? When had that happened and why was she just finding out now?

Tears welled in her eyes as Lanie continued, in a much softer tone. "Honey, maybe he's waited all he can. Maybe he doesn't believe there will ever be anything between you two and he just needs to move on for his own good. There's only so much hurt a person can take before he has to start protecting his own heart. I think you might know something about that, protecting yourself from more pain, don't you? What reason have you given him to hang in there, waiting for you?"

"Before he came back, the time I showed up at one of his signings, we talked. I thought he understood. I told him I had a wall because of my mother's case. I explained how the wall kept me from having the kind of relationship I wanted. Lanie, I don't want to do the one foot out the door thing any more. I want a real, committed relationship and as much as it scares me, I want it with him. I told him that when my mom's case was solved, when I found justice for her and could lay it to rest, I would be able to have the kind of relationship I wanted. I thought it was clear that I meant with him. "

"That was what, six months ago? What has happened since then? What other signs have you given him to give him a little hope? Girl, you can't leave the man hanging with only the occasional crumb of attention and expect him to wait forever. That's just not fair. We both know that his playboy image is just a facade. He's so much more than that public persona. He may be a little immature at times,"

Kate interrupted with a sound that was half scoff and half laugh at Lanie's understatement of that aspect of Castle's personality. Smiling wryly to herself, she thought that was like describing Gates as a little uptight. She was lost in her own thoughts for a moment before Lanie's silence drew her attention and she withered just a bit under the other woman's glare.

After pausing just a little longer to make sure she had Kate's attention back, Lanie continued, "But we've all seen how much he cares for those he loves. He's fiercely loyal and never seems to stop in his quest to see them happy. Someone with a heart that open and giving, who loves so deeply must also have the capacity to be hurt that deeply as well. At some point he has to protect himself."

Kate cringed at the thought of Castle having to protect himself from her. The complete veracity of Lanie's words made the sting harsher. She looked away, trying vainly to come up with an argument against Lanie's logic. She had no excuses, no reasons that were good enough. She knew she wasn't being fair to him. But her gut twisted as she considered talking to him, being open and honest about where she was and how she was feeling. Just the thought of discussing things so directly with him made her want to run as fast and as far away as she could. She just couldn't do it. It was too terrifying to consider opening her heart up to the risk.

Ignoring how flat they sounded even to her own ears, she offered the same trite, hollow reasons for doing what she had done, "I know, but Lanie I'm scared. I'm so bad at relationships. If Castle and I got together I would just screw this up... I don't want to loose him."

"And, this...? I don't even know what to call it is because it's certainly not a relationship. What ever this is, is it working for you? You are standing here, admitting to me you've been lying to him for 9 months while he's out on a date with another woman. That isn't screwed up? How much worse do you think it could get? The question is not if it's going to be messy and painful. It will. Love is complicated. The question is are you willing to try and make it better. Do you think it's worth the risk? Do you think he is?"

Kate dropped her shoulders in defeat. Kate's whole body sagged at Lanie's words. She didn't like what her friend had to say but she knew the M.E. was right. She'd already screwed this up. Castle's current behavior was a testament to that. She'd already apparently lost him. What else did she have to loose?

The real question, the only one that really mattered, was, had she screwed it up too badly to fix it? What the hell was she going to do now?

Entering his loft at the end of the day, Rick breathed a sigh of relief as the emptiness greeted him. With both Alexis and his mother out for the evening, he didn't have to continue his facade any longer. It hadn't been as hard as he'd expected to keep his distance from Ka- no, he had to think of her as Beckett, he corrected himself. Last names offered a sense of detachment, a professional distance. But it had been draining.

He headed to his office and sought out the liquor cabinet that was there. He tried not to think about his day as he poured himself a whiskey, downing it quickly before pouring a second. Dropping his body into the chair behind his desk, he leaned back and allowed his eyes to close. An image of her face flickered, unwanted, across his mind. When he'd shown up without any coffee this morning, he didn't know what to expect. He certainly wasn't expecting the hurt and disappointment he'd seen briefly in her eyes.

He'd managed to work the case throughout the morning, aiming most of his comments to the group in general and had been relieved to escape to lunch with Jacinda. The meal had gone well enough. The food was delicious and the conversation somewhat interesting, but he hadn't been able to stop comparing her to Beckett, and in every area Jacinda fell short. Still, he forced himself to smile and talk and flirt, hoping that if he faked an attraction long enough, his heart would start to believe it.

He reached to refill his glass again, promising himself it would be the last drink of the evening. It was clear he'd have to work harder at moving on. It was something he should be better at. He'd done it three times already. First, after Kyra left, and then again after each of his marriages failed. He'd submersed himself in the playboy lifestyle, filling his nights with women and clubs and all manner of distractions. Anything to keep his mind off of the burning hole in his chest where his heart had been. At least in those cases, he'd had a relationship to loose. This time, he hadn't even had the woman he was pining over. He was grieving the loss of something he never even had. He slammed his glass down harder than he meant to, overcome by the helplessness he felt.

He would have to work a little more diligently at moving on. He'd focus on how she'd played him for a fool and how he'd let her, encouraged it even. He would use his hurt and anger to fuel the changes he needed to make. They could give him the energy to do what he needed to do. She wasn't the only one who could build a wall. His may look different but it served the purpose just as well. He was tired of putting himself out there for her and getting nothing in return. He was done.

Early the next morning, Kate paced in one of the interrogation rooms. Last night, she'd lain awake for hours rehashing all that she and Lanie had discussed the previous afternoon. She'd revisited everything she could from the recent days and still had no insight into the changes in Castle's behavior. So she decided to take Lanie's words to heart. She and Castle were going to talk. She was an NYPD detective who could make hardened criminals confess. She could get him to tell her what the hell was going on.

Her heart leaped as she heard the door knob to the room turn. Stepping behind the table, she waited, hoping it was Castle. She was ready to get this over with. She swallowed the panic threatening to take over and lifted her chin just a bit to face the room's new occupant.

Castle entered with a mildly confused look on his face. When he'd first arrived this morning, Ryan had told him that Becket was in interrogation one and that Castle should join her. Assuming it was related case, he'd headed straight there. It was unusual for Beckett to ask someone to join an interview once it had started but not unheard of. So he was baffled when he saw that she was the only other person in the room.

"Beckett, Ryan said I should join you in here, but I though..." she interrupted him. "Rick, sit down." He did a bit of a double take at her use of his first name. Concern colored his features. "What happened? Is everyone OK? Is anyone hurt?" The fear he was feeling leaked into his voice and she was quick to assure him, "No, no one's hurt." before adding quietly "at least not physically."

It wasn't as quiet as she'd expected and he heard the whispered comment, freezing immediately. His voice was harsher when he prompted her. "Why are we in here, then? There's no suspect, we should be working the case." He was hoping to avoid what he expected to be a difficult and painful conversation. If she was talking about someone not being hurt physically, that meant they were hurt some other way and he really didn't want to go there with her. He couldn't face that yet. Stone faced, he sat in the chair bracing himself for whatever was coming.

She started to speak several times but stalled on each one. She didn't do this kind of thing, didn't have these kinds of conversations and had no clue where to begin. The fact that he was steadfastly refusing to meet her gaze and sitting stone still in his chair certainly didn't help her discomfort.

Knowing she couldn't put it off any longer, she dove in. "Rick, what happened two days ago?"

Denying everything, he replied, "I don't know what you mean. What makes you think something happened and why would I know anything about it?"

"Because you are different. Something clearly happened to you and no matter how hard I try I can't figure it out."

Rick began to stand, "Look Beckett, I don't know what you're playing at but we have a case to solve and..."

Interrupting him, she shouted, "Sit the hell down and talk to me!"

Surprise registering on his face he returned to his seat and calmly replied, "OK, then. What would you like to talk about?" She watched in frustration as he schooled his features to a detached appearance and waited quietly for her to continue.

"You... You're... We... ," she started, stumbling over her words, she took a deep breath before continuing, "I...Oh, hell, I don't know how to do this. What a stupid idea this was. I can't do this." Ending with little more than a whisper, she stood and quickly turned away from him. But not fast enough. She couldn't turn before he saw a shimmer in her eye that looked suspiciously like tears.

Damn. The wall he was building was no where near tall enough to withstand her tears. With a heavy sigh, knowing he was just going to get hurt again, he rose and walked up behind her. "Kate, what's going on? What's wrong?"

"Are you mad at me?" she asked turning slowly to face him. He started at the watery look on her face?

"Am I mad at you?"

"Yes, are you mad at me?" she repeated, a little louder this time.

"What makes you think..."

She didn't let him finish. "Just answer the question. Are. You. Mad. At. Me?" She held his gaze willing him to answer.

"Uh, I... um... no?" he replied, clearly still confused by her line of questioning.

"Then, why?" she whispered.

"Why what? Look, Kate, I don't understand what's going on here. Could you please explain what's going on?" he implored, his confusion taking precedence over his empathy for her distress.

Taking yet another steadying breath, she decided to just dive in. "Two days ago, during the bombing case, something happened. Since then, you haven't seemed yourself. You've been distant and different. I want to know what happened." She paused gathering her strength. She might as well go all in. "Something is different, between us. And, I don't like it. I miss you. I want, no I need to fix this."

Castle sighed heavily, realizing he couldn't avoid this conversation any longer. He knew where it would lead and it was going to hurt. He didn't want to hear her say the words aloud, to his face. But more than he wanted to spare himself that pain, he had to spare her hers.

Once more he would hurt for her sake. It was what he did after all. Slumping a bit in defeat, he began, "Do you remember your interrogation of Bobby, during the bombing case?"

She nodded going back over it in her head, still confused. "What does that have to do with anything. You weren't even there."

"Yes, I was." he stated. "I came in while you were in there and I watched from observation." He waited for her to make the connection, watching as the confusion on her face was slowly replaced by horror.

"You were there?" she stuttered, "You … heard. Oh, God." She leaned her head into her hands, slumping before him.

He sighed, accepting that they would indeed be having this conversation, and sought to ease her pain. "It's OK, Kate. I understand. I just wish you had told me. I could have moved on instead of hanging on thinking I might have a chance." He directed his gaze to the corner, refusing to meet hers. "Really, it's fine."

Lifting her head from her hands, she questioned him. "What's fine? What should I have told you?"

He suppressed the flash of anger he felt that she was actually going to make him say it. "That you heard me, what I told you the day you were... hurt. I get it. You don't feel the same and you were hoping to avoid a mutually embarrassing situation." He stood before continuing, "I'm sorry I made it difficult for you. I think I'm going to take some time away from the precinct, gather myself a bit." He reached for the door handle, glad this was almost over.

Of all the reactions he considered, hearing her demand, "What the fuck?" was not one he'd expected. She continued, "That's what you think? That I don't feel the same? God, we are both so screwed up!" It shocked him enough to cause him to stop and wait to hear what she would say next.

"The reason I pretended," she paused before owning up to what she had done, "no, the reason I lied about hearing you was most definitely not because I don't feel the same." She had to laugh at the absurdity of that notion. "I was, and still am scared," she admitted.

Turning to face her, fighting the hope that was flaring in his chest, he quietly asked, "Scared of what?"

She held his gaze for a long moment before answering, "Scared of not being enough."

It was his turn to laugh at the absurdity of what she was saying, "Impossible." Shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the situation they found themselves. "Kate, look at me," he quietly commanded waiting for her to comply before continuing, "You could never, ever not be enough. I meant what I said. My timing was horrible, but I meant every word. I love you."

The smile that broke across her face almost stopped his heart. His breathing stopped as she stepped into his personal space.

"And you thought I didn't feel the same? That was why I lied?" she pushed.

"It was the only reason I could come up with." He explained trailing off as she stepped even closer to him.

Laying a hand along the side of his face, she smiled, "You couldn't be further from the truth." She reinforced her statement by leaning his to press a gentle kiss to his lips, sighing when his hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her flush against him before he muttered, "Oh, thank God." and pulled her in for another kiss.


	4. Moving On

Author's Note: So regular updates? Not really something I'm good at. It's also not something I'm ever likely to be good at, so I'm taking another approach and finishing whatever I write before I post any of it. It makes postings few and far between but they are longer and at least I won't leave you hanging any more.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's set just after episode 4x20 The Limey. I'd love any comments, suggestions, or requests you'd care to leave. Thanks for reading.

* * *

><p>"Well, she's fun and uncomplicated. I think that's what my life needs right now."<p>

As he turns and walks away, Castle tries not to focus on the expression on Kate's face. He doesn't want to read anything in to it, doesn't want to let a false hope flare in his heart and undo what little progress he's made at moving on, learning not to love her. That thought stops him in his tracks. Progress? He hasn't made any progress. Not love Kate? He could no more stop loving her than he could stop breathing He knows he's still hopelessly in love with her and is crushed by the knowledge that she doesn't love him too. He'd spoken brave words to his mother, assured her he could turn off his feelings for her. It's been … more challenging than he'd expected and he knows now that he won't ever stop loving her. His only hope is distraction and burying his feelings deep enough that her rejection doesn't hit him like a punch in the gut every time he sees her.

* * *

><p>As he exits the precinct, he forces a smile to his face to his face and a spring to his step. He certainly doesn't feel the excitement he's trying to force into his demeanor. Catching Jacinda's eye, he waves and heads over.<p>

"Ready for that drink?" he asks, focusing on the woman in front of him, the one who actually wants to spend time with him.

"Sure!" she replies, "Where should we go?"

He pauses, thinking about how to make this evening a little more enjoyable. "I know just the place."

He slips into the driver's seat of his Ferarri and pulls into traffic, refusing to let himself glance back at the precinct.

Rick managed to keep his mind clear as he listened to Jacinda's chatter on the way to the bar. She really was a sweet girl and a lot of fun. He pulled into a parking space and went around to open her door. He tried not to notice the lack of spark when he took her hand to help her from the car. He refused to think about the electricity that flowed the few times he'd been able to hold Beckett's hand. That train of thought was dangerous and only led to more heartache.

Guiding Jacinda with his hand on the small of her back, he steered them towards The Old Haunt. A home court advantage was definitely called for tonight.

* * *

><p>"Hi. It's uh … it's Kate. - - - Do you still want to buy me that drink? "<p>

She hangs up the phone sighing as she sits back in her chair. What the hell was wrong with her. A few drinks with a handsome, charming inspector should fill her with delight, not feel like a chore that had to be suffered through. Inspector Hunt was everything she could want in a companion for the evening. Everything except for one. He wasn't Castle. And Castle was who she really wanted to spend the evening with.

She'd thought he understood, that he was waiting for her. She thout she had all the time in the world, time to get her life sorted out, to be the woman she wanted to be and the one that he deserved. But she'd left it too late. He'd clearly decided he was done waiting and was moving on, looking for "fun and uncomplicated" which she would never be. She headed out, trying to convince herself that Castle's change of behavior was a good thing.

She shouldn't be surprised, really. He was just returning to his normal behavior. he'd never had much of an attention span. What if she had started something with him and then he lost interested. It would hurt so much more. Yes, she was lucky it had turned out like this and she was determined to embrace the change. Colin was a great guy and she was going to have a fabulous time with him. No matter what.

Walking into the bar where she was to meet Colin, Kate tried to focus on him and not let her thoughts wander like they had been all night. After she'd left the precinct, she'd gone home to change clothes and had to stop herself from dressing for Castle. She knew which shirts caused his gaze to travel lower than it should and which slacks drew his attention. She didn't admit even to herself that once she knew he liked an item, she wore it more often. She had passed by all of his favorites, finally settling on an outfit she didn't often wear.

She could see the appreciation on Coin's face when she entered the bar. His gaze traveled over her as he stood and leaned to kiss her cheek. She forced a smile and tried to focus on the man she was with.

"Paperwork get sorted out?" Colin asked.

"No," she admitted, "I decided it could wait until tomorrow"

"I'm glad."

They ordered drinks and discussed the case. As the evening wore on and the conversation became more personal, Kate became increasingly uncomfortable. She tried to hide it but knew she wasn't doing a good job. He finally called her on it, "Kate, what's wrong? You seem – uncomfortable. Have I done something?"

"No, Colin. You've been great. I'm just... Maybe tonight wasn't such a good idea. I should go."

"Wait! Please don't leave. I like you Kate. And I think you like me too. Tell me what's going on with you?"

She sighed as she realized she wasn't being fair to him. Despite Castle's recent behavior, she wasn't ready to pursue anything with anyone else and he deserved to know that.

"I do like you, but..." she hesitated. How could she explain that she wouldn't pursue anything with him because of a man currently out with another woman?

"You like him more. A lot more." Colin supplied for her.

She started with surprise. What did he know about her and Castle? She stared at him trying to process what he was saying.

"You and Castle. You have a thing?" he answered his own question, "No, but you want one. Both of you do. Why aren't you with him tonight?"

She refused to meet his eyes as she admitted, "He's out with someone else tonight. Been doing that a lot lately."

"Lately? Is that new? What happened?"

Sensing her hesitation, Hunt encouraged her. "Look, Kate, I like you and asked you out tonight hoping there might be something between us it's clear that's not going to happen but I still like to think we can be friends. And you look like you could really use one tonight..."

She wasn't sure she wanted to talk about this with him, but he seemed interested and maybe he could help her figure it out. So she told him about Castle's recent behavior change, how they had been getting closer but then he started putting distance between them.

After listening intently to her story, he asked, "And you don't know why he suddenly started pulling away?" Kate shook her head., as Colin continued. "you know, seeing that we're both detectives and have some experience in solving mysteries, I bet we can figure it out. Let's try to narrow down the time frame. When is the last time you remember him behaving normally?"

"During the bombing case we had a week ago. He changed sometime in the middle of that case."

"OK, that's good. Think back to when the change ocurred. What was going on?"

"Everything was fine until I finished my interview with Bobby. When I came out, he was gone, but had left a coffee on my desk, so I knew he'd been there. But I didn't even see him. What could have happened?"

"Was he there when you started the interview?"

"No, he must have arrive in the middle of it."

"And what would he normally have done if he arrived when you were in with a suspect? Would he come join you?"

"No, he wouldn't want to interrupt. He'd probably just watch from observa..." the words died in her mouth. The image of him standing in observation, listening, while she admitted she remembered her shooting to a suspect – when all this time she'd lied to him. Horror at what must have happened descended over her face. "Oh, no. No, no, no. He can't have heard me. Please no." She had to leave, had to see him. She absolutely had to fix this. "Colin, I can't tell you how sorry I am. Showing up tonight wasn't fair to you. I appreciate your help so much. I think I've figured out what happened, and I have to go fix this now." The regret was clear in her features as she leaned in and gave him a friendly hug before turning and hurrying out of the bar.

* * *

><p>"Rick...Rick! Did you hear me?" Jacinda didn't seem the least bit annoyed, even thought it was the third time in the last 10 minutes his thoughts had obviously wandered. how could her lack of annoyance bother him so much? She laid a hand on his knee, trying to secure his attention. "You're a million miles away. What's on your mind tonight, Rick?"<p>

She was so sweet and understanding. He wasn't being fair. To either of them. He stared into the drink he'd been nursing for the last hour before replying, "Listen, Jacinda, I'm going to have to cut our evening short. I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm just not going to be very good company tonight. Why don't we call it a night.?"

"If you want to talk about it, I'm a really good listener..." she left the offer hanging temptingly between them. Rick was not one to hold things inside. He was definitely a sharer and keeping it all in was killing him. But unloading on the woman he'd tried to use as a distraction just didn't seem right.

"No, Jacinda. Thank you though..." He took another deep swig of his drink, choking on the amber liquid when she continued, "It's that detective you follow, isn't it?"

Fun and uncomplicated, clearly didn't equal blind or clueless. When he refused to meet her gaze, she continued, "I haven't seen you around her much but it's clear to anyone with any sense that you are head over heels for her. I'm guessing she doesn't feel the same since you're here with me and not out with her." She saw the guilt wash over him and quickly assured him, "It's OK. I've enjoyed your company and was never expecting anything from you. Do you want to tell me about her?"

The desire to unburden himself was overwhelming and he began to recount the events of the last few weeks, explaining how he'd been waiting patiently for the wall to come down and how he'd been determined to give her all the space she needed to work things thorugh, only to find out that she'd remembered his confession all this time.

"The only reason she would have lied about that was because she didn't feel the same. I made it clear I'd give her the space she needed. She was embarrassed and wished I've never told her how I felt." Rick quickly downed the rest of his drink relishing the burn in his throat. He gestured to the bartender for another round of drinks for the two of them, enjoying the small bit of relief sharing his burden had brought.

When he looked at Jacinda he was surprised to find an expression of amusement on her face. He failed to see what was funny or entertaing about the situation. Just as he was about to comment, she interrupted.

"Men! You all think you're so good at understanding the female mind. You're also not so good at the talking part of relationships, are you? So if she remembers, the only explanation is that she doesn't feel the same and is too embarrassed to have the 'Let's be friends' talk? There aren't any other plausible explanations. Come on, Rick, you're a story teller. What other story fits the scene?"

He stares at her, confused. "Other explanation? Scene? What?"

"You've come up with one possible explanation for her behavior, but it's not the only one. You know she lied, but you don't know why. You're assuming the lie was to avoid an unpleasant situation. That's certainly a reason why people lie. But there are others. What are they?"

"Well," he began, "people lie to save other people's feelings. She could have done that..."

"Yes," she prompted. "What else?"

"They lie to avoid admitting things they aren't proud of...I'm not sure that could apply in this situation." His fascination with mysteries began to surface as he considered Jacinda's question.

"They lie to protect others. To protect themselves. - They lie because they're scared." He silently contemplated all the different motivations that led people to withhold the truth.

"Which of these reasons seems the most like her?"

Realization began to dawn on Rick, "Protecting people is important to her but more than that she's afraid of being hurt again." His voice dropped to a whisper, "She's been protecting herself... from me. I'm not sure that's any better."

"But Rick, don't you see? If she is scared you'll hurt her, she has to care for you. We can't be hurt by people we don't care about." She smiled as she stood from her seat. As he started to stand as well, she laid a hand on his shoulder pushing him back down. "No, Rick. Don't get up. I'm going to go but you should stay and figure out what you're going to do to ally her fears, to convince her to risk her heart with you."

She leaned down to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "I hope this detective knows how lucky she is to have the love of a man like you. See you around."

Castle watched her walk out of the bar and tried to believe what she had said. But he'd had his heart crushed too many times for it to be easy. He stared into the bottom of his glass and didn't notice that Jacinda pulled her phone out and placed a call just as she left the bar.

* * *

><p>Kate slammed her phone down in frustration. He wasn't answering and neither Martha nor Alexis knew where he was. Ether that or they knew and just weren't telling her. That wouldn't be out of the question. She was contemplating using her police resources to track him down when an unknown number flashed on her phone. Cautiously, she picked it up.<p>

"Beckett."

"Detective Beckett, from the twelfth precinct?" asked a feminine voice.

"Yes, who is this?" Kate demanded beginning to get annoyed with the unknown caller.

"This is Jacinda - Rick's friend. Do you have a minute to talk?"

Kate's conversation with Jacinda had been enlightening to say the least. Though she'd already figured out most of what the other woman had to say, she now had one last vital piece of information - Rick's location.

* * *

><p>Her eyes scan the bar as Kate enters, finding him alone in a corner, nursing an almost empty glass. She heads to the bar and orders him another, and a drink for herself. Crossing the bar, she sets their drinks down on the table before she slides into the booth across from Castle.<p>

He doesn't look up as she sits so she pushes his drink closer and calls his name.

"Rick."

He looks up, preparing to send away whomever is disturbing his brooding. She watches the emotions pass over his face: despair when he first raises his head, then surprise and elation as he realizes who is there, and finally the mask of indifference she's come to expect in the recent weeks. He's protecting himself from her, she realizes and the idea sits like a rock in the bottom of her stomach.

"Rick, we need to talk. Can we go down stairs?"

"Hello, Beckett. What can I do for you?" He ignores her suggestion to find privacy.

"We need to talk and I'd like to do it without an audience. Can we go to your office?"

This is it, he thinks. She's finally going to deliver the "Let's be friends" speech. Well, it took her long enough. He may not be able to stop her from breaking what's left of his heart, but he doesn't have to make it easy for her.

"I'm sure what ever it is, we can talk about it here, Beckett." He slides his empty glass toward the edge of the table and takes one large gulp, then another from the fresh one she'd brought him.

"I'd really rather not..." she started.

"Look." he interrupted, "It's fine. I know what you're going to say and you don't need to worry. I'm not going to make a scene. Just say what you have to say and go, alright? Let me get back to my evening."

"I don't think you do know what I'm going to say." Kate pauses before continuing, "Jacinda called me tonight."

That got his attention. "Why would she call you? What did she want?"

"She told me about your conversation earlier this evening."

"Why the hell would she do that?" he demanded. His evening had been bad enough. Now Beckett and Jacinda were talking? Please, let it not have been about him.

"She did it because she cares about you and knew we had some misconceptions to clear up." As he tried to reply, she held up a hand. "No, Rick. Don't interrupt. I need to tell you this and you need to hear it. Just be quiet and listen." She took a moment to calm herself before she continued. "I heard you. The day I was … shot, I heard what you said to me in the cemetery. I'm sorry I lied. It seemed like the best, no - the only, choice at the time but now I see it wasn't. It was wrong and I can't explain that away, but I need you to understand why I lied. I lied because I was overwhelmed. So much was going on – I'd been shot, and Josh was there, and we'd just found out about Montgomery, and I just couldn't get my head around any of it." She looked off into the distance, avoiding meeting his eyes, "and I was scared." The last came out as just a whisper.

"Scared of what, Kate?" She noticed his use of her first name and took it as a good sign.

"I was scared of screwing up. This," she gestured between them, "is too important to me to mess it up and I'm just no good at relationships. You know I don't let people in. I wanted, I still want, to be better … less damaged … less screwed up... more of who you deserve. Jacinda said you thought I lied because I didn't feel the same way about you." she paused, finally meeting his gaze. "Rick, that couldn't be further from the truth." She waited, as the meaning behind her words sank in. She watched as the astonishment crept over his features.

"Couldn't be further from the truth?" he asked, staring at her in shock.

"Yea - couldn't be further from the truth." Kate reached across the table and laid her hand on top of his. "I should have said this months ago, but Rick, I love you too."

Kate watched as the first genuine smile she'd seen in a while blossomed on his face and then she leaned across the table to steal the smile with a gentle kiss.


End file.
